Are You Happy With Yourself?
I try to write about things I've previously went through, so that I can show people that it’s brighter on the other side. I recently asked my readers for different topics that we can discuss and one suggestion was how one can be comfortable with themselves. I told myself I’d put that topic off to the side and wait because self-love and being comfortable with myself was a current battle of mine. A few weeks later, I was indulging in my daily faith devotional and a very important message stuck out to me. It stated, “However, some of the times I've grown the most in my faith is when I've witnessed the authentic, blatant testimony from men and women who are living currently in extraordinary storms of life.” These words tugged at my heart strings because I decided that instead of waiting for the sun came back out, I should inspire NOW while the thunder was booming and the lightening was striking.
Just like any other woman, I struggled, and still do, with my self-consciousness and self-esteem. I often caught myself asking "Does this outfit give me any type of figure? Is this haircut or hair color doing anything for my face?’ And the big one ‘I don’t feel pretty anymore." I also wasn't satisfied with where I was in life. I was stressed, going on four months of unemployment, checking and savings getting low. I failed my nursing entry exam by two points. I didn't have a car, so I found myself always depending on someone to help me get from point a to b. Life was just taking a toll on me. While feeling all of this, I pretended to be happy but I fell into a silent dark place.
One day, I walked past the mirror and I didn’t recognize the woman I seen. That day I hit rock bottom but I also regained my strength to get myself back. I promised myself that regardless of life’s current circumstances I would never allow them to make me lose myself again.
One of things that I decided to add back into my daily routine was prayer. This time last year, I was faithful in prayer at least three times a day. This year, I would pray maybe once a day. I could blame it on being tired from dealing with the baby all day but God doesn’t have a certain time for prayer. Another thing that I had to change was the way that I looked at myself and not worry what anyone else thought of me. Whatever hairstyle, or outfit I wore I had to get up everyday and own that ish!
And the most important regime was to give myself some credit. NO, I’m not where I want to be. NO, everything isn’t going the way I want it to go. But I’m doing my very best with the situation that I have at hand. For anyone that is currently pretending to be happy, look yourself in the mirror and do whatever it takes to bring nothing but genuine peace and happiness to your life! Yes, it will take time and no it won’t be the easiest journey but it will be the best project you’ve ever worked on.
